Tuesday, July 31, 2007


I was driving home a few days ago, when I found myself behind a slow driver—one who followed the speed limit. The traffic light at the next intersection turned yellow, then red, during our lethargic approach.

Unable to endure a full cycle of changing traffic lights, I turned right and then turned left into a side street, when I drove one block before turning left so that I could return from my efficient detour.

And, ambling before me, was the same car.

It had only felt like I was driving a minute, yet I ended right where I started. I know that if I had waited at the original intersection, I would have thought it an unendurably long wait. Einstein had already stated in his explanation of relativity, "A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems shorter than a minute. But tell that same man to sit on a hot stove for a minute, it is longer than any hour. That's relativity."

Practical tips: I've recently switched cellular providers to Sprint. In the interests of efficiency, I set up my voice mail to expert mode and removed the robot lady caller instructions ("Press 1 to leave a message, or wait for the beep. To leave...") This setting was actually hidden under the greetings.

To enable expert mode: from the main menu: 3, 3, 1
To remove caller instructions: from the main menu: 3,2,1,3

For those who call me (or anyone on Sprint), you can skip the voice mail by pushing "1". Verizon used "*".